Self-care is important, vitally important. Caring for the body in which you were born is the greatest gift and obligation we have. Feeding it with food as fuel to survive and thrive, staying active to maintain muscle and bone health, and sustaining mental clarity in an increasingly difficult world are all exceedingly important. Self-care promoting a sound body and mind allows us to live longer, giving us the opportunity to fulfill our life goals and objectives and watch our children grow. Health is wealth.
In fact, self-care is so important the McKinsey Report estimates it’s a $1.5 trillion industry globally, with a whopping 70% of that spent on products and the balance on services, with expected growth of 5-10% per year.
A Bourgeoning of Self-Care Overwhelm
Not surprisingly, due to the prominence of self-care in media and nearly everywhere we look, a flourish of self-care overwhelm is emerging. The self-care spectrum is so wide, spanning a plethora of disciplines, it’s difficult to know where to start and what will bring the greatest benefit to you.
Enter Wellness Overload
Coconut oil, 8 glasses of water, green tea, blueberries, protein, turmeric, flax seed, anti-inflammatory, leaky gut syndrome, lactose, detox, candida, oil pulling, meditation, gratitude, morning routines, no-poo/low-poo shampoo, and on and on…
The must-do wellness culture has left us so overwhelmed and confused we don’t know whether to “scratch our watch or wind our butt”, following the words of the great Truvy from Steel Magnolias.
And my goodness, are working mom’s are in need of some real self-care! Having only 17 minutes of personal time a day is not thriving. Feeling as if we’re vastly living our life for others is only surviving.
Are Hot Baths And Massages The Answer?
Take a hot bath or get a massage and all your problems will be solved!
Exhibit A: What if the thought of running a hot bath sounds far more exhausting than it is worth? Baths simply take more time than I’ve usually got (or want to allot), I’m unable to reach any level of relaxation once in is the hot bath, and I just get really hot and sweaty, resulting in high levels of stress, accomplishing the exact opposite of what the hot bath was meant to achieve.
Exhibit B: What’s the point of paying a lot of money for a massage if you’re lying on the table unable to relax with a thousand thoughts still running through your mind? Not to mention the impending guilt for money spent, and leave the massage feeling worse than when I went in?
Are hots baths and massages really self-care?
As a society we are spending an exorbitant amount of money on self-care, $1.5 trillion to be precise. In the process, self-care has lost a lot of its meaning due to its dilution and oversaturation. Are we reaping the benefits from spending all that money on face creams and massages? It does not appear so, as globally there are a staggering 1 billion people living with a mental disorder, exacerbated by the pandemic.
Lucy, of the Peanuts comic strip, might be tempted to call self-care a “commercial racket“, second only to Christmas.
What Does Self-Care Mean To Working Mom’s?
It’s not surprising then, that self-care has taken on somewhat of a sinister definition for some women, mom’s, and working mom’s.
Self-care, has become one more thing we are responsible for, another item to add to our to-do list. If we’re not engaging in self-care, due to time or money, well then it’s our own fault. It’s no wonder we’re exhausted and stressed and overwhelmed!
Forget equal pay, affordable child care or paid parental leave.
A massage and turmeric latte will do the trick.
Enter Self-Preservation
Caring for myself is not self indulgence. It is self preservation. And that is an act of political warfare.
Audre Lorde
The definition of self-preservation is to preserve oneself from destruction or harm or to preserve one’s own existence. In a world where we are often just surviving not thriving, self-preservation is a fundamental need for any individual.
Compassion Knows No Bounds
As working mom’s, we are so hard on ourselves. I was my own worst enemy, my harshest critic, putting more pressure on myself than anyone else in my life (family, boss, partner). Feeling immense guilt doing anything for myself, because there was always so much to do and so many people to take care of.
As women, our desires often take backstage to the demands of a career and motherhood along with all the other commitments in our lives. Why do we often put the needs of others first and prioritize ourselves last? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
Whatever your version of self-preservation looks like, own it, knowing that choosing something for yourself is not selfish, but a necessity. Self-care can be bought, and self-care can come from within. It’s up to you to assess what self-care looks like for you, in order to preserve your own existence, as you see fit.
We must change our mindset and learn to take care of ourselves first. So that we can live a life we love. So that we can thrive at home and work. So that we can be our best self in every aspect of our life!
Look deep into your soul to find what truly brings you peace. Let go of the guilt. Be forgiving and blanket yourself in grace and compassion. That is the ultimate act of self-care, preserving your existence for years to come.
My Self-Care Is…
I must admit I entered the world of self-care as any perfectionist would, with vim and vigor, and intentions of being a wellness goddess. But the overload hit and I embraced my imperfections, I vastly simplified. Saving myself time, energy and guilt, I feel the purer and freer for it.
Here are my self-care go-to’s:
- Realizing what I did today was enough
- Elastic waisted pants
- Listening to music
- Spoonful’s of peanut butter and Nutella without children around
- Watching (or listening) to baseball, my version of a Netflix binge
- Exercising, feeling the strength and joy it brings
- Morning silence and coffee before anyone else wakes up
- Laughing; big belly, tear inducing, face scrunching laughter
- Feeling the sunshine on my face
- Walking barefoot in the grass
- Getting out in nature
- Connecting with family and loved ones
Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Please comment below and share your thoughts with this community of female peers and like minded women! Forward to a friend or woman you believe would find value in these words…Together we are stronger.
