Casting perfection aside and upon realizing that on any given day I was already doing enough, I had a new frame of mind from which to view my life. The blinders started to come off and my line of vision started to expand, whereby, I no longer felt entirely trapped and stuck in the hamster wheel of commuting, school drop-offs, work, dinner, sleepless nights and guilt. A renewed level of energy was started to take hold.
Society teaches us (whether we choose to accept it or not) that we have the potential to do a lot of things that may enhance and bring value to our life.
Here are some to name just a few.
Eat healthy. Hydrate. Sleep 8 hours a night. Maintain a holistic self-care regimen. Meditate. Keep a gratitude journal. Exercise 30 minutes a day. Spend time outdoors. Maintain a safe and clean home. Cook nutritious meals. Have a fulfilling career. Raise children. Care for family. Be present in each moment. Nourish our minds with books/podcasts/tv/movies/culture/politics and news. Explore hobbies and interests. Responsibly manage finances and life admin. Invest & save for the future. See the doctor and manage family health. Care for pets. Maintain intimacy with your partner. Socialize with friends and family. Engage with your community. Be spontaneous. Keep calm.
We can respond in one of two ways to these opportunities.
Here’s the good news. While it FEELS like we’re required to do all these things, we actually are NOT.
You get to prioritize and determine what works for you. Not society. Not your family. Not social media. Why do we believe we have to do ALL of these? Why do we think ticking off each one of these boxes is our measure of success? That most certainly is not the case. Not everyone needs or wants all of these things and even so, it is unrealistic and cruel to hold ourselves to such expectations. You are the owners of your life. You get to determine what success looks like to you.
You can choose to be a passive observer of your life, or you can be an active participant driving the outcome, creating the life you desire and deserve.
So Let’s Get Started!
This is where the fun starts because you’re taking the first step towards creating your future! You may have absolutely no idea what you even want your life to look like, I know I didn’t. But you have taken the first step and identified that your current life is not sustainable as is, and acknowledge that something must absolutely change.
Imagine you are the main character in a movie, called “My Life”. You have always been the main character, but now it is time for you to truly own it and take action. You must identify what basic needs must be fulfilled.
Start by asking yourself some questions:
- What will bring me more peace today?
- What is within my control that I can change?
- What small output on my behalf will result in the greatest reward?
- What matters most in this time of my life and will have the most impact?
- What will bring safety, joy and health to me and my family?
There will always be non-negotiables; work, raising a family, finances, doctor etc. As for the rest of it? You get to decide what is most important to you, what matters as your life moves forward and changes by moment, month, and season.
Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.
Nora Ephron
I’ll share what this looked like for me
In my life, there was one overarching, unavoidable fact. I was absolutely exhausted; physically, mentally, spiritually. I had just enough energy to get through the requirements of each day, and nothing more. I knew this wasn’t the life I wanted, but I was too tired and deflated to dare to dream of more. How could I aspire to something greater, when I felt I wasn’t meeting the demands of my current life? If I’m struggling to get through laundry and dinners, when the hell was I supposed to find the time for self-care like hot baths and coconut oil? Or create my perfect wardrobe capsule, minimalize my house, or meditate?
So I took a big step back and asked, what is the one thing that would enable me to accomplish and receive more in my life?
ENERGY
- I needed energy to get through each day.
- I needed energy to be more efficient towards the commitments in my life.
- I needed energy to create more space for joy and gratitude.
- I needed energy to remember who I was as an individual, as a woman, without the layers of mother, partner and employee in my list of titles.
- I needed energy to imagine and realize the full potential of what my life should be.
How could I harness energy back into my life?
My top five priorities:
- Get more Sleep
- Eat Healthy Foods
- Move my body every day
- Practice Gratitude
- Read before bed
My thought process went something like this…
- Upon getting more sleep and improved quality of sleep, my body would desire healthier foods (a proven fact) and I’d have gained a little bit more energy to prepare healthier food more often.
- Upon increased energy levels as a result of more sleep and healthier foods, I’d be more inclined to get my butt out the door for that walk in the sunshine (added Vitamin D bonus, killing two birds with one stone).
- The accumulated energy from executing said priorities 1,2 & 3 would make it easier for me to start my day with some quick thoughts of gratitude, thereby, improving my attitude towards unavoidable commitments like work and school drop-offs.
- Finally, upon getting into bed each night I’d hopefully have a bit more energy remaining to spend five minutes reading an inspirational story about a kickass woman, which in turn would inspire me to get up the next day and have another kickass day myself!
What Was My Starting Point For An Energy Boost?
From the start I knew I was only capable of tackling one priority at a time. So, I started with priority number one:
SLEEP
I did not underestimate the changes required to fully and wholly accomplish this objective. I also knew it would take time, so I gave myself one month to focus on sleep. To go through the grind, do the work, create new habits and allow my body to feel the full impact and receive the benefits of the changes I was making. Learn how I improved my sleep hygiene and why it may be the single most important change you can make.
Now it’s YOUR TURN!
Write down your five priorities that will bring you one step closer to the life you deserve. It doesn’t have to be five, maybe it’s three, maybe it’s one! You set the scene.
Please comment below and share your thoughts with this community of female peers and like minded women! Forward to a friend or woman you believe would find value in these words…Together we are stronger.
